Farewell Uterus - The Prequel

Tonight I say goodbye to my uterus.

I am scheduled for a partial hysterectomy tomorrow. Did you know that the word derives from ancient medical practices that thought removing the woman's sexual parts would make her less hysterical (i.e. crazy)?

My father, retired MD, referred to this surgery where they remove only the uterus and fallopian tubes, but keep the ovaries and cervix in place as, "Taking the swings, but leaving the playground".

I watched a similar surgery on the internet, performed by a fancy $million+ surgical robot with the typical emotional distance that I employ while watching medical mysteries or dramas, like Grey's Anatomy. But this time, it was different. I cannot pinpoint exactly what I felt/am feeling.

I don't need my uterus anymore. I don't want the physical pain of monthly menstruation. I don't want to have more children. Too old. Too tired. Too risky at my age. I am content that I have two perfect little boys. My uterus has housed 3 embryos in its life, 2 successfully. I still hold a grudge and feel deceived by my body over my miscarriage. But we trudged on together.

In between the two live births, it got confused and started to grow a fibroid, a benign tumor. I put up with the odd periods, heavy flows, random spotting and miss-fired ovulation until I finally got pregnant with Boden. It is now 10 months after the birth of a 9 pound 6 ounce happy baby boy.

Now the period is back. Ugh. And oh-so-painful.

In addition to the bulging fibroid, I have endometriosis inside the uterus (I can't remember the specific medical term for this condition). I am doubled over in pain when I ovulate and menstruate.

I give up. TAKE IT OUT. Tack it up. Put me back together. I am still a fabulous woman. Even without a Womb.

Thank you, Uterus, for allowing me to experience the beautiful and miraculous ordeal of pregnancy and subsequent birth.

You have served me well.

Now. Goodbye.